The IVF Bride: First Comes Love. Then Comes Frozen Embryos.
The IVF Bride: First Comes Love. Then Comes Frozen Embryos.
June 2022
After been engaged for four months, my fiancé and I had long been discussing family planning and how excited we were. After finding out about a free fertility benefit offered through my employer I figured we would take advantage of it and freeze my eggs. At the end of the day, I was 33 and not getting any younger and we knew we wanted multiple children.
The “his” and “hers” bloodwork appointments and fertility doctors weren’t the romantic dates you’d expect early on in engaged life. He held my purse in the lobby when I needed bloodwork and held my hand during ultrasounds. It wasn’t long after that we received the news that our chances of conceiving naturally were 2% or less.
In that moment, and for days and weeks to follow, the news really sank in; I would never get pregnant on our future honeymoon or after a romantic evening with my soon-to-be husband. We would never have a “surprise” pregnancy that many of our close friends and family had experienced. This would never be effortless. We decided to jump in and get started.
Little did I know that my IVF planner would become just as important as my wedding planner.
The next few months would like this: Schedule consult with florist. Schedule consult for embryo freezing. Research wedding venues. Research side effects of hormones. Schedule hair trial. Schedule baseline testing. Order bridesmaid gifts. Order IVF injections. Write vows. Write down medication dosages. Take time off work for dress fittings. Take time off work for egg retrieval procedure. Watch “first dance” videos for inspiration. Watch injection tutorial videos. Sign marriage license. Sign embryo thawing consent forms. You get the gist.
During the months that followed I would experience some of the most joyful moments of our engagement, and some of the hardest. An egg retrieval that produced 20 eggs and 3 healthy embryos. Delayed transfer cycle due to uterine polyps and endometriosis. After months and months of appointments (29 to date), medications (11), injections (52 to date) we were finally one step closer to the embryo transfer date. After 56 days of Orilissa and Letrozole medications for endometriosis I received an updated calendar.
Unbeknownst to my nurse, I was scheduled to start up injections again on June 2nd, the day of our wedding. I chose to look view this as a good omen or good juju, if you will. It was only fitting that our wedding would continue to go hand in hand with our IVF journey. Maybe it was the hormones or bridal bliss, made me feel like in some small way our baby was a part of our wedding day, which brought me joy.
June 2023
The morning of my wedding I grabbed my MOH and a few friends from the kitchen. Sporting my “Beach Bride” shirt they cheered me on for my shot of Lupron in the thigh, a shot that would kick off my Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) cycle. The vial of Lupron was in the refrigerator right next to the bottle of champagne that we would be popping soon enough. Was this how I imagined by engagement and start to married life? No, definitely not. Am I better partner and wife because of it? Yes, I believe so.
By the time we recited the words “in sickness and in health” we had already experienced something unique to the majority of couples. Note: Statistically, 1 in 8 couples battles infertility. Following the egg retrieval procedure he was there by my side after waking up from anesthesia. A mere seven weeks later he was there giving me a good luck kiss as I was wheeled back for anesthesia for a hysteroscopy polypectomy. He sterilized my abdomen and administered injection after injection. He offered sweet words of encouragement after I’d wince in pain, complain of the bloating and boy was there bloating, the mood swings, hot flashes and night sweats, and the mental exhaustion.
When I felt defeated and hopeless I turned to the IVF community. On social media I found tips, books, recipes, videos, webinars, quotes, but most importantly I found peace and comfort. It started with a fellow warriors decision to document her journey via videos and pictures. After picking up her retrieval medications she could be seen smiling, laughing, and dancing. In that moment something changed within me and for the first time in months I had a positive outlook. No one told me you could be going through infertility and still be happy. I was inspired to document my own journey, which I encourage others to do.
What started off as a path that caused heartache led to an even stronger bond between my husband and I, and a journey that brought even more love and support from our family and friends. As we near our transfer date I’ve learned so much about myself and my relationship with my husband through the blood, sweat, and tears (literally and figuratively). Knowing that we made it through IVF makes me confident that we can conquer anything. If that is not a true warrior then I don’t know what is. Thank you to the IVF community and to my fellow warriors - you are stronger than you even realize.
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Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.