Ways to Take Your Power Back During Infertility

The process of trying to conceive can wreak havoc on our mental and emotional well-being. Infertility can strip us of the power that we have and make us feel like we are lost, isolated, out of control, and flawed. With each passing treatment or cycle, we have the propensity to fall deeper into this abyss of negativity and entrenched in our failures and losses. However, all is not lost! There is a way to keep your head above water and actually thrive during this tumultuous journey to motherhood no matter how long of a process it may be or has already been for you.

At the end of each day, it is essential to remember that your past and whatever has happened with your fertility journey does not define who you are. The light, love, and power that you had before you began trying to conceive is still within you. You just need to reconnect to your beautiful self and reframe how you view and navigate through the situation. Below are my five tips on how to take your power back when you are in the midst of trying to conceive.

Rekindle your connection to yourself

Many of my clients (and myself included) felt like they lost sight of who they were outside of trying to conceive a child. Our quest to have a child can evolve into an all consuming existence where we get tied to the outcomes and become defined by the losses. One way to take your power back is to remember who you are outside of this situation and rekindle your connection to your true self. Who were you before you began trying to get pregnant? What did you love to do? What made you laugh and smile and glow from within? When did you feel beautiful? When did you feel confident and empowered? If it helps you, take the time to write down the answers to these questions so you can identify the ways in which you can reconnect with the bright spirit within you. Then come up with an action plan for a daily thing you can do to bring a smile to your face or call joy into your life. By rekindling your happiness and shifting to a state of positivity, you take back control of your mindset.

Advocate for yourself

Often we defer to the “experts” we are working with such as the doctors and nurses who are in charge of our care. We can feel like we don’t have a say in our treatment plan because we aren’t as educated in this area and the current guidelines in reproductive medicine. While this may be true in terms of education, at the end of the day two things are true and provide you with some semblance of power:

(1) it is your body so you always get a say in what happens to it and

(2) you know how you are feeling and what you can or can’t handle.

If a certain medicine or treatment plan doesn’t feel good or maybe you’re ready to move on to a new protocol, don’t be afraid to speak up and advocate for yourself. When you voice your opinion about your care, you maintain some power in your situation.

Tune into your calm

Utilizing calming techniques like mindfulness meditation, breathing techniques, affirmations and gratitudes will help you shift from a state of stress into a state of ease. The infertility journey is fraught with a rollercoaster of emotions and triggers which puts people into a constant state of stress. When you practice techniques that help you tune into your inner calm, you take control of your mindset, regaining a feeling of power in your situation. Plus, practicing these techniques will help you respond more positively and mindfully to the ups and downs of the fertility journey.

Let go

For many of us, the idea of control is so central to our preservation so that we can feel less overwhelmed and less anxious. Yet, the road to conception is far from controllable. I, myself, tried to keep everything under a tight grip while I was trying to conceive and it just didn’t work. Instead, the moment I let go of everything I couldn't control I regained a feeling of my inner power. When I let go, I was no longer ruled by situations and my frustration was replaced by freedom. When you find yourself overwhelmed and frustrated with your situation, take a step back to understand what you have control over and what you don’t. Then, when you find yourself in these situations in the future, remind yourself that you don’t have control over it and then visualize yourself letting it go.

Connect with your tribe and speak your voice

Infertility tends to silence us. We feel incompetent and ashamed of our situation which prevents us from sharing how we are feeling and seeking out support. In addition, we may not even know anyone in our immediate circles who is going through infertility so we become even more quiet about our challenges for fear of being misunderstood and judged. Thankfully, we live in a more connected society with a multitude of options from online support groups, social media, fertility apps, services and mentorship groups. It can be very helpful to find a group that resonates with you so that you have an outlet for your emotions and find comfort in camaraderie. When you begin to share your story and talk about your feelings, you release the silencing grip of infertility and regain your power through your voice.

So the next time you feel like you’re losing your connection to yourself and your situation, try out one of the strategies listed above to empower you so you can continue along your fertility journey with strength and courage.

ABOUT JOSEPHINE ATLURI:

Josephine is an expert in meditation and helping others overcome adversity to find joy. Through her unique journey on her path to become a mom of five, Josephine weathered many ups and downs with miscarriages, IVF, international adoption and surrogacy. Channeling her experience to find calm and courage and to focus on perseverance, she now helps others navigate life’s curveballs through online meditation training, fertility mindfulness workshops, and her “Responding to Life” podcast.

During this time of extreme isolation and stress, Josephine can share practical tips including tools to help ground yourself, reduce tension and tune into your body with simple breathing techniques, body scanning and affirmations. She offers free meditation videos on her site www.jatluri.com. For a free monthly video meditation and wellness tips, be sure to sign up to receive her monthly newsletter on her site. For daily inspiration on working mom life, be sure to follow her on Instagram.

Medical Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.