Embryo Loss: They Weren't "Just" Embryos to Me
There's a unique pain that comes with embryo loss.
Something not talked about enough is that IVF isn't guaranteed. It gives you a chance, but not a guarantee. There's so much you physically and mentally go through to get to the point of an egg retrieval. You then wait many stressful days for your embryology report to learn how many embryos have actually made it.
Whether you end up with 1 or 20 embryos, they are your embabies and hopefully your future babies. They truly signify your family building hopes and dreams. They're the chance you've worked so hard to have.
Going into IVF, I wasn't aware of a few things because no one educated me...
How many eggs wouldn't even fertilize.
How many embryos you could lose during the embryo development stage
How common a failed transfer cycle was
My first retrieval at the age of 24 yielded 3 embryos. I honestly planned out lives for those 3 embryos. I was so naïve at that time. I actually thought 3 embryos = 3 future babies. The lives I had dreamt for my 3 future babies. The hopes I had... were completely crushed.
So, what happens when an IVF cycle fails? When an embryo doesn't survive the thaw? When an embryo doesn't pass genetic testing? What happens when you lose embryos or when your embryos stop growing and you end up with none?
It can feel completely:
Devastating⠀
Depressing
Soul crushing⠀
Hopeless
Losing embryos is never "just" losing embryos... it's losing time, money, hopes, and dreams. It's intense sadness and grief. If you've had a failed cycle, weren't able to get to the point of transfer because of having no viable embryos, or are struggling with the loss of embryo(s) after a transfer, you aren’t alone. The overwhelming emotions experienced after embryo loss, are often hard to explain. Other's may not get your pain and grief, but I assure you, what you're feeling is completely valid and you aren't alone.
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.