Shayla's 7-Year Fertility Journey and the Lessons Learned
My husband and I were devastated when we first learned that IVF was our only hope in conceiving a child.
We have been on a 7-year journey. I’ve had 2 miscarriages and 3 ectopic pregnancies that resulted in the loss of both of my Fallopian tubes. We recently decided to create a GoFundMe to raise the funds for treatment. It’s something that I hesitated to do because I’ve never been comfortable asking anyone for money. Family, let alone, strangers. Many fearful questions came to mind.
What if we don’t make our goal? What if nobody donates? Will close friends think we are broke? It’s such a vulnerable place but we decided to do it. We filmed a short video to tell our story, hit submit, and there it went. We sent it directly to friends and family, and also posted to our social media platforms.
Within the first week we saw donations come in. I was overwhelmed with joy as well as anxiety. But I wrote this story not to only share about the generous people who donated but to also bring awareness to the negative or unhelpful feedback we received.
We heard things like, “Why don’t you just adopt?” “I can’t believe you are asking people for money, during a pandemic.” “Why don’t you just take out a loan.” And the most hurtful one is, “They don’t look like they need the help.
My husband and I both lost our full-time jobs due to the pandemic, but we have been so blessed to have talents that we both pursue. My husband is a photographer and oil painter. I am a singer and songwriter. People have made assumptions about us as if we don’t need help. We work extremely hard each day on our creative talents and many times we work for little or no pay. But we shouldn’t have to explain that to anyone. We have been through so much with infertility. We look forward to one day having our bundle of joy. I want to express to anyone struggling with infertility, to stay positive and if you need someone to talk to, there are plenty of likeminded individuals who have similar experiences. I have learned that many people cannot possibly understand your pain. Infertility does not discriminate. People from all over the world and all different walks of life are dealing with infertility. Be an advocate for your own mind and body. Someone will always have something to say. Keep your head up, stay focused and believe that you will make it through.
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.