Pregnancy After Loss

Pregnancy after loss. That’s such a loaded topic in my opinion. For those who haven’t experienced loss will usually try and give you some encouraging advice such as “see! you can have another one.” or “It will be fine this time”. Being perfectly honest, I abhor both of those phrases. I can think of many bitter responses, but I usually need to remind myself that they don’t know what they are talking about, and they have good intentions. 

Pregnancy After Loss

For us who have experienced loss, and are now pregnant or have gotten pregnant again, it’s a bit more complicated. In our minds, the first loss shouldn’t have happened to begin with. If it happens once, it can definitely happen again. Of course, there was nothing we could do to prevent the first loss so instead of actively having something to focus on to achieve that, we just sit there... in fear. Hoping that barely moving, breathing, sleeping will somehow keep our baby alive. Then there’s the guilt. Due to the pain of our first loss, your heart doesn’t want to get attached to the little human growing. Then there’s the battle of “of course I should love and put my full hope into this pregnancy....”. But what if he/she doesn’t make it? Can I really go through that heart ache again? Can I survive it again? When I barely made it the last time. 
 
Every cramp, kick, muscle twinge, ache and weird feeling is over analyzed, picked apart, Googled and WebMD’s. All of which usually never provide comfort or definitive answers. 

It’s scary. It’s scary all the time. 

When my daughter first rolled over and kicked, I thought my uterus was twitching and starting to contact. I panicked. I called my husband and my doctor and asked to be seen immediately. At my next scan... the doctor showed me that my daughter is a wiggler and quite the dancer. I was shocked and so embarrassed. That’s what kicking felt like? The feeling I had was something women usually love, and I panicked. How backward. 
 
Pregnancy is a learning process. This pregnancy differs so much from the one I had with my twins. No two are ever the same. I enjoy being pregnant, but I definitely have my moments of fear and anxiety. In those, I learn as well. The best advice I can give to women who are going through this is to keep breathing. Just keep breathing. Breathe for you and breathe for your tiny human. 
 

-Chelsea 

Medical Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.