Managing Infertility Triggers

One of the common issues my fertility meditation clients need help with managing is triggers. Trying to conceive is already so difficult in terms of medications and procedures plus all of the emotions that come with the experience. Unfortunately, in addition to all of the inherent difficulties of assisted reproductive therapy, we are also at risk for being triggered by seemingly innocuous comments, visuals, moments, and a host of other things that are particular to you and your situation.

Managing Infertility Triggers

I help my fertility meditation clients manage their triggers in a variety of ways because some days we respond better to one strategy than the other. Also, it is a good idea to have a variety of tools in your self-care toolkit. The first step in learning how to manage triggers is to take the time to identify your personal triggers. Afterwards, I then teach the various tools that are helpful in preventing and/or de-escalating emotions that come from triggers.

Identifying Triggers

Many times, we will instantly know that we have been triggered because we received a test result that wasn’t favorable, a pregnancy test failed, someone said something outright insensitive to us, or we ran into yet another person that had a baby seemingly out of nowhere. In these situations, we’ll know immediately that we will need to manage that trigger with one of the suggested solutions below. Other times, however, it will be subtle like passing by a sign with a baby pictured on it that we didn’t even realize we saw. In these cases, it is essential to tune into our feelings and be aware of ourselves so that we can realize in real time that we are in an escalated state. This self-awareness is important so that those hurt feelings don’t pop up elsewhere out of context or get bottled up to later explode in a much bigger and harder way to resolve. Try making a simple list or you can take the exercise further by journaling about an experience you’ve had with each of your triggers.

Ways to Manage Triggers

Once you’ve taken the time to list your triggers, you can move on to learning how to prevent the triggers and/or de-escalating your emotions once they’ve happened. Here are ten of my favorite strategies for managing your emotions:

Breathing techniques

Witness how slowly you can breathe in and count how long it takes. Then make your exhale last just as long. On your next inhale/exhale try to make it one second longer and continue doing this for however many cycles you need in order to begin to destress. By witnessing your breath, you are tuning into the present moment and are unable to think of anything else past, present or future that may be overwhelming you because you are so focused on the count of your breathing.

Meditating

One way to meditate is to do a breathing technique for an extended period of time without eyes closed and in a quiet environment. When we control the pace of our breath by slowing it down, we are controlling our mental state by switching it from a state of stress to a state of relaxation. Once we switch over to a more relaxed state, we can then operate and interact with others and situations from a place of clarity, mindfulness and positivity.

Affirmations

An affirmation is a simple statement of encouragement and support that can be said to oneself in a declarative way. When we state something positive to ourselves, the idea is that it will take root within our very being such that we will start to believe it. Once we start to think of this affirmation as truth we will then begin to call it into our lives. Try these phrases and then come up with your own: I am worthy. I am enough. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am courageous.

Gratitude practice

When we call to mind things and people, we are grateful for, we bring happiness into our life which replaces any negativity that may have seeped in. By practicing gratefulness even for just one thing each day, we can eventually extend the strategy of gratitude to help us as we progress along the fertility journey.

Journaling

Writing down your feelings can be the emotional release that you need when you’re upset. It is a great way to release the incident and the emotions that you are feeling rather than bottling it up.

Contacting a Friend or online support network

It can be very helpful to speak with a friend who is in a similar situation of trying to conceive with assisted reproductive therapy. They get you and probably have been triggered in the past themselves so they can offer you some great advice or at the very least a listening ear.

Leaning into your partner for extra love

Your partner wants to help you out, but oftentimes they just don’t know how. In these moments, be honest with your partner about how you are feeling and what you need in order to feel better. Let them know your triggers so they can also help out in the future by being on the lookout and intercepting any potential escalations.

Have a conversation with the person who triggered you

Sometimes, it is best to confront the person who said something that triggered you especially if this is someone who you live with or interact with often. It is typically the case that they did not mean to say something insensitive and did not realize the words would upset you. By letting them know how their words affected you, you can avoid any further situations in the future.

Self-care strategy like working out or pampering yourself in some way

Another way to destress is to engage in self-care techniques to boost your wellbeing. It can be as simple as a few minutes of alone time, working out, or as complex as an at-home spa day.

Do something fun

Our mindset affects every aspect of our life and emotional wellbeing which affects how we feel in our bodies and how we interact with the world around us. Another way to shift your mindset after being triggered is to do something fun that will transport you away from the negativity and instead into something you enjoy.

The next time you find yourself in a swirl of negative emotions, practice one of the strategies listed above to instantly shift your mindset and move from a state of stress to calm.

Medical Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.

ABOUT JOSEPHINE ATLURI

Josephine is an expert in meditation and in overcoming adversity to find joy. She is also the creator and host of the podcast, "Responding to Life: Living Reflectively Through a Journey of Health, Fertility, and Parenthood." On the show, Josephine highlights learnings from her thirteen-year journey of love, loss, resilience, and hope to create her modern-day family including five children through non-traditional methods of IVF, adoption and surrogacy as well as inspirations from guests who have also navigated life’s curveballs to find joy.

For more information on Josephine Atluri Meditation and the Responding to Life podcast, please visit www.jatluri.com For daily inspiration on Instagram: @josephineratluri and @respondingtolifepodcast