Jessica's Story: Infertility and Surrogacy in The Black Community
I hope to increase infertility awareness and normalize surrogacy, especially in the black community. We don’t talk about having babies, we just have them or suffer in silence.
Infertility and Surrogacy in The Black Community
I had my first son when I was 25. He was born prematurely due to preeclampsia, but I was a mom and in love. I didn’t want him to be the only child like me, but I never got pregnant again. I made an appointment with my OBGYN, in hopes to get clomid but learned I had several fibroids. We scheduled a myomectomy procedure to remove them.
After my myomectomy, my blood pressure dropped to 55/17. I was bleeding internally. I passed out and was given a blood transfusion. Upon waking up, there were a lot of people around me, they seemed to be in a panic. I was sent back to the OR. The Dr. told me he had to remove my uterus in order to save my life. How did my dreams turn into my worst nightmare? Waking up from surgery, I was happy to be alive and to hear they stop the bleed without removing my uterus. However, my OBGYN made it clear we needed to see an RE.
My first consultation with the RE didn’t go as I expected.
He suggested we used a surrogate. I was slightly offended he recommended it to me, a black woman. He knew I couldn’t afford that; he knew black people didn’t have surrogates. I was embarrassed and ready to leave, not knowing I would be back for 3 surrogacy journeys. Sadly, our son had a rare birth defect. He passed two days after birth. People think we weren’t attached since I didn’t carry him, but we loved him before we knew him, I didn’t have to carry him to be attached. My soul was attached.
We had to put our lives on hold to afford surrogacy, but thanks to surrogacy we have a guardian angel and two daughters.
Making us a family of 5. I hope to increase infertility awareness and normalize surrogacy, especially in the black community. We don’t talk about having babies, we just have them or suffer in silence. It was awkward telling friends and family we were expecting via surrogacy. None of them were aware of how it worked or knew anyone who was a surrogate or had a surrogate. Our goal is to help all those who want to grow their families. We support unity and love for all mankind.
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.