How IVF Has Taught Me to Deal With COVID-19

Everyone has their own ways of coping with the new normal that is COVID-19. There is so much unknown that it becomes so easy to get lost in that fear. Questions come up like when will this be over? How many will be affected? How long will schools be closed? How will the economy survive? So many questions that have not been answered.

How IVF Has Taught Me to Deal With COVID-19

As someone who has been going through infertility and IVF, some things seem easy and some things seem very scary. Everyone has their own set of fears and reasons for feeling however they feel, but having gone through IVF for years, in a way, I feel somewhat prepared.

The unknown is a little less overwhelming.

I don’t mean to diminish how scary it is to not know where everything is headed, but honestly, I’ve learned to trust. I’ve learned that if I do everything I can, at some point, things will look up. I mean, almost 3 years of treatments had to teach me something, right? So here I am, not letting myself fear what I don’t know yet. That’s what I eventually learned with IVF. We never really know what’s going to happen so why think the worst? Why worry constantly when I could be just taking this day by day? Same thing with COVID-19, I’ve chosen to take it day by day and not look too far into the future because all it does is create anxiety, and honestly, no one knows what will happen, much like IVF.

I’m used to not having control.

During IVF, we have zero control. Not just over outcome, but in general. I have no control how my body will react every day to medications, I have no idea how my scans will go or how the medications will make me feel. Every single time I’ve done an IVF cycle, my body has reacted completely different. So here we are, feeling out of control. However much live IVF, there are things we can control. We can control how we chose to spend each day at home, we can control how we move or don’t move our bodies, we can control what we eat (for the most part I know this is hard for some), we can control how we think about the situation and we can control how we can do our part to make this go away sooner than later. When doing IVF, I have the choice of controlling my emotions, I have the choice of eating good foods and moving enough to help my body. I have the choice to stay positive and to keep hope alive.

I’m used to changing my routine.

Sure, I’ve never been forced to stay inside and not go out, but there are many times during IVF that we are told to change our routine. We are asked to cut back on caffeine, to cut back on exercising and to cut out stress. We are asked to lay low during the 2 week wait, and before and after an egg retrieval. We are asked to change our daily lives so that we can fit in IVF appointments and protocols and we are told that sleeping longer, drinking less and not traveling much will be part of the plan. And yet we are OK complying with all of that! So no, it’s not the same as being told to stay home all day without socializing and seeing other people, but we are being asked to change our routine for a short period (in the scheme of things that is). So much like IVF, we are social distancing and changing our way of life for the greater good.

Stress management is my jam.

This is a big one. Over the years I’ve tried to manage and limit my stress. I know we HATE hearing that stress affects fertility, but I think we all know in the back of our heads that it kind of does. Well I believe it does for me anyway. There was a point in my life when I first started IVF that things (aside from IVF itself) were very stressful. I tried to make IVF work while still letting every little thing stress me out. Not to mention I would get very stressed out with every hurdle and every appointment that didn’t go as planned. So, much like our current situation, we need to find a way to manage stress. An outlet or simply a mindset that being stressed won’t change anything for the better, something that was hard for me to figure out. Stress doesn’t equal change, so I’ve learned to feel what I need to feel and be OK with that, but not to let it change my perception of all the positive that is around me.

Mindset is everything.

Which leads me to the idea of focusing on the good. It’s very easy to constantly see the bad in any situation. I mean we are human, so it’s only natural. But there is a difference with focusing only on the bad versus acknowledging it and moving forward. There are a lot of lows in IVF and infertility. A lot of negative test results, a lot of hurdles and cancelled cycles or failed attempts. But there is also a lot of good. Without IVF/science so many of us wouldn’t be able to have babies. The choice of being able to do IVF is a good thing because I know there are a lot of people out there who would love to go through IVF and just can’t. Infertility makes us stronger, it can bring our families together and it can create a stronger partnership with your significant other. There is good and obviously, the end result is the most amazing miracle. So, while we won’t get a baby because of the corona virus, we can grow from it and focus on the good if we chose to see it. I’ve seen a lot of unity among communities (virtually), a lot of people working together and helping as much as they can. I personally get some extra time with my girls to slow down (since our lives are normally go, go, go). I get to write more, read more, go outside more, and enjoy time with my family (which we always complain we never get enough of). So, if we choose to see the good, then maybe just maybe, we will be able to get through the days with much more ease and less stress.

The waiting game is all too familiar.

Lastly, if you’ve ever gone through IVF or dealt with any form of infertility, you know that the word “waiting” is part of the game. Every day there is something new to wait for, another protocol, a change in medication, waiting for your period and your cycle to start, waiting for test results and of course the dreaded two week wait to find out if you’re pregnant or not. Waiting is just part of the plan when you’re going through infertility and it seems like waiting is a part of this worldwide epidemic. Patience is something I’ve been forced to learn through these past 3 years. I’ve had to learn to be patient with my doctors, my body, and in turn, life in general. I’ve had to wait, and wait, and wait, which in turn has given me the patience to deal with a lot more than my own journey. Yes, there are days I just can’t wait anymore, and days I want to throw in the towel and give up, but somehow I always get through the long wait and come out on the other side.

So here we are, waiting for news every day, waiting for something to change to give us some hope and to allow us to feel like things are moving forward. Here we are, patiently (well mostly) changing our lives and trying to be patient with our family who also has no control over what’s going on. Here we are trying to be patient and kind and compassionate towards one another.

So no, IVF/Infertility and COVID-19 are not the same thing, and if you thought I was going to tell you they were or if that’s what you got out of this, I’m sorry. But what I can say with certainty is that if you’ve been through infertility, if you’ve been dealt this hand, then you know firsthand how to cope with a lot of the things that this virus has forced us to become. You are stronger than most, you are more flexible than most, you are more patient than most and you truly understand what it means to continue to hope and stay positive during a time filled with so much unknown.

Medical Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.