Preparing for Beta Day While Trying to Conceive
Beta day. The day we work so hard to get to, but the day we also fear. What happens once beta day arrives and your results are in?
What is a beta pregnancy test?
If you’re trying to conceive, you’ve likely heard the term beta or “beta day”. Basically, a beta-hCG test is used to confirm and/or evaluate a pregnancy through a blood test in a doctor's office or fertility clinic. Beta-hCG (β-hCG) is a test that measures the amount of human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) in the blood. HCG is a hormone present in early pregnancy and is even used as a marker in home pregnancy tests. This hormone is produced as soon as 10 days after conception. On “beta day” you typically arrive at your clinic in the morning, have your blood drawn, and hours later, receive a call from your clinic, telling you the news.
One pro tip, if you have the ability of course, schedule a day off from work on the day of your beta bloodwork. Now, I know this is not possible for everyone. Maybe you have the ability to work from home, maybe you simply cannot take another day off. That is all okay. But if you can, plan to be home the day of your bloodwork results. If they are positive, you will have a difficult time concentrating on anything else. If they are negative, you will want to give yourself the space to feel your emotions. If you have to be at work, sometimes a distraction is a great coping tool so do not fret. Another tip, let your phone go to voicemail when that call comes in. Listen to it when you feel ready and have a few minutes of peace to process the news.
If your bloodwork comes back positive:
Digest your news. It can be very overwhelming to hear positive news, especially if we are used to not hearing what we are hoping for. It may also feel like you want to scream this news from the rooftops. Take a deep breath, soak it in and share this news with your partner. Take the time you need to digest this happy news together.
Strike a balance. So much can be taken from you when you are on the road of infertility. Once you hear positive news or see two pink lines, it can be hard to believe. Find a way to enjoy each day that brings happy news without feeling like you need to walk on eggshells. We may not know what tomorrow brings but it is important to recognize the good in today.
Journal this moment. As mentioned above, we know there are no guarantees on this road. On the day of your positive bloodwork, take a moment to journal your feelings. It is important to let yourself process in this way and it allows you to honor your pregnancy in this very moment.
If your bloodwork comes back negative:
Let yourself feel your emotions. It’s okay to be angry, to be sad, to be heartbroken. It’s ok to not want to talk to anyone or do anything. However, you may feel, allow yourself space to be in your feelings. And remind yourself that these feelings are temporary. You may not know how the future will unfold, but your feelings will shift, and you will learn to grow from your hurt.
Give yourself time to grieve. So often on this journey, we are constantly moving…onto the next month, onto the next cycle, the next, the next, the next. It is perfectly okay to allow yourself time to grieve and heal the loss that you have experienced.
Talk openly with your spouse. Your spouse is experiencing pain and loss as well. Lean on each other, even if you grieve differently, be there for one another.
Set boundaries. When you receive difficult news, it can be helpful to take a break from social media, quiet your phone, take a step back. Scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and seeing others’ happy news is not beneficial when you are grieving. If family or friends are checking in to see how you are doing, it’s okay to let them know you need some time and thank them for checking in. Whatever you need to do to protect your heart, do those things.
Care for yourself. Take a long bath, an afternoon nap, or binge your favorite show. Sometimes we need to disconnect for a little while to reset. And you cannot feel guilty about it.
Discuss options for the next step. When you feel ready, talk with your spouse about what feels comfortable for the next step in your journey. Maybe this means taking a break, maybe it means talking with your doctor and creating a plan for moving forward. Don’t make any decisions when your emotions are high and raw. Give yourself time.
Cristina is a licensed therapist with a mission to bring more awareness, education and support to topics like infertility, the journey to motherhood and beyond. With over a decade of experience in the mental health field, she has developed a wealth of knowledge around ways to help cope with emotions, tackle fears and barriers and live a more present, healthy life. Through her own experiences and struggles in trying to grow my family, she has found a personal connection to the world of infertility and new motherhood. Cristina is passionate about helping women overcome the mental health challenges that this struggle can often present. And most importantly, her goal is to help normalize and validate the emotional hardships that can occur along the way.
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.
