Pregnantish: Andrea's Fertility Journey

My husband and I have tried to get or stay pregnant for almost a decade (I recently found an e-mail, from 2008, in which I asked a friend what to test for since I was diagnosed with endometriosis at 14 years old). In 2012, I had open-stomach surgery to remove a huge fibroid tumor that was covering my tubes and ovaries. At that point, after it was removed, my husband and I really believed we’d finally get pregnant. Little did we know that the surgery would kick off many more years of fertility treatments and losses.

In 2013, after IUI, I was thrilled to get pregnant. I recall feeling lucky that our infertility saga was over! After we heard the heartbeat around 8 or 9 weeks, we lost the pregnancy and learned the embryo was healthy. That was the first clue we got that maybe my body was rejecting healthy embryos. In 2014, I got pregnant from IVF and miscarried again. Transfer after transfer happened between 2014-2016 (so many, I lost count), when my doctor suggested doing PGS/genetic testing on embryos before putting any more inside my body. We didn’t know if my eggs or uterus was causing all the losses.

At that point, I had done about 18 treatments and was completely exhausted and depleted.

I decided to launch Pregnantish around this time to help people feel less isolated as I had felt during the years of fertility treatment failures and losses. I had been in the media for years (as an author and on-air personality sharing relationship advice) and felt frustrated that there was no (lifestyle) site dedicated to helping folks navigate the personal, practical & relationship side of the process. There were, and still are, great personal blogs, medical sites, parenting sites and advocacy sites… but I wanted an independent editorial site with professional writers covering this topic of infertility. Launching this as I struggled with my own infertility helped me realize how many were affected by this and how many I could try to help through curated good content and live events with community.

Around this time, in Feb 2017, we learned we had healthy embryos and started looking for a gestational carrier (a surrogate who could carry our healthy baby to term).

2 dropped out on us in 2017 before my cousin offered in January 2018. (One dropped out 2 weeks before transfer after all legal, medical, counseling had been completed. It was heart-breaking). I can’t even explain how grateful I was when my cousin Elana offered to carry for us, since it started to feel like nothing would ever work. She said, “What’s a year of my life to help you guys have a lifetime with a child?” She also said she wanted to help re-build our family, since so many were killed in the Holocaust (including our dads’ grandparents). We rushed through the paperwork and months of testing and had our transfer 2 years to the day after my eggs were retrieved. It’s strange that it worked out that way and have to admit that it feels meant-to-be (though I would’ve wanted to slap people if they told me that things happened for a reason years ago)!

We are expecting in Dec now, and may finally meet our baby girl. I’m in shock and so so grateful. I have stayed pretty quiet about our pregnancy (now that I am pregnantish myself!) out of respect to people still trying…though I also appreciate how loving and supportive this community has been.

Medical Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.

Personal Essay by @pregnantish @andreainny