Our Fertility Journey: Heartbreak, Perseverance, and the Fight for Parenthood
Hi, we're Caitlin and Tyler Fairres. We're high school sweethearts from a small town in Southern California called Norco. Tyler and I have been friends since middle school and started dating our senior year of high school. In our relationship, we have gone through more challenges than most people go through in their entire lives.
Our Fertility Journey: Heartbreak, Perseverance, and the Fight for Parenthood
In 2020, at the age of 26, I was unfortunately diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. The diagnosis was gut-wrenching to Tyler and me as we both knew, more than anything, that we wanted to be parents. After the diagnosis, Tyler and I talked about the different options we had: adoption, IVF with an egg donor, or just not having children at all. Ultimately, we felt IVF with an egg donor would be the best fit for us. Once we started looking into all things IVF, we saw just how expensive it was and decided to put a hold on that journey for the time being.
In 2022, Tyler was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. This diagnosis was absolutely terrifying; we had no idea what our future would look like. At this time, children and starting a family definitely took a back seat. Our main priority was Tyler and his health. After months of doctors' appointments, Tyler's doctor finally had him on the proper medical treatment and felt Tyler was stable and his disease should have no further progression. We started to get back into our normal routine.
In May of 2023, Tyler and I got married. We had a beautiful wedding surrounded by all of our loved ones. Shortly after our wedding, we decided it was finally time to hit our infertility journey head-on.
In September of 2023, Tyler and I were matched with an egg donor. We found our egg donor through a company called Co Fertility. We were eager to get the process going, not knowing it would actually take a lot longer than we had anticipated. Shortly after the match, we learned that our donor had traveled outside of the country a few months prior, putting a strict hold on everything for six months. While we waited the six months for our donor to begin testing, I started digging into different grants we could apply for, as I still knew in the back of my mind that IVF was not something we could afford on our own.
In the winter of 2023, I applied for a grant with a company called Baby Quest. In February of 2024, I received a call from the owner of Baby Quest asking if my husband and I would like to be on the Today Show in New York with Erin Andrews to share our infertility journey. I immediately said yes! In March of 2024, we were flown out to New York to be on the Today Show. To our pleasant surprise, we weren't there to share our story at all. We were there to get the surprise of a lifetime. Tyler and I were graciously gifted $20,000 from Baby Quest! We were on cloud nine, and everything started to fall into place after that.
Our donor had begun clearing all of her testing as well as Tyler and me. In June of 2024, we finally had our four beautiful embryos. I was scheduled for my first transfer at the end of July 2024. Leading up to the transfer, I felt so nervous, not knowing what to expect. Tyler and I became professionals at injections. The day of the transfer came and went, and then I was in the dreaded two-week wait. I was a nervous wreck the entire two weeks, googling every single symptom I thought I was having. I remember even googling, "is eye twitching a sign of pregnancy." I know they say you are not supposed to test at home during the two-week wait, and I tried my hardest not to but ended up testing at home on day seven. The test came back negative, and I was a mess, but I kept holding out hope that the doctors' results would be different. Well, they weren't. We got the dreaded call that my first transfer had failed. I was a mess, and Tyler and I felt defeated. We did everything we were supposed to do; why did it fail? I wasn't sure what to do next. Should I take a break? Should I keep going? My husband encouraged me to keep going, so we immediately scheduled our second transfer.
Going into our first transfer, Tyler and I went back and forth with the idea of transferring one or two embryos, ultimately deciding on one. Going into our second transfer, we both decided to transfer two embryos this time in hopes it would give us a higher chance of pregnancy. I was excited and hopeful with the idea of transferring two embryos, but at the same time equally terrified knowing this would leave us with one embryo should this transfer fail again. Our second transfer was scheduled for the end of September 2024. Going into this transfer, I felt a lot calmer and at ease than I did going into my first transfer. I also tried doing everything I could to better prepare my body. I did acupuncture, alleviated added stress, etc. Our second transfer came and went, and I found myself again in the two-week wait. This time, I wasn't as anxious. I didn't find myself googling anything. I didn't test at home. I just felt at ease and had such a good feeling about things this go-around.
The two-week wait was over, and we received the call from my doctor. She said our results were definitely positive, but my HCG levels were lower than they like to see, so they wanted me to continue to test every two days. Tyler and I heard the words, "definitely positive," and were over the moon. I never thought I would hear that I had a positive pregnancy test. We called our immediate family to let them know the news. Everyone was over the moon for us, and we were on such a high, which would soon come crashing down. When I went back to the doctors a few days later for my third HCG test, the doctor gave me the devastating news that my HCG levels were dropping, and this was a non-viable pregnancy that would lead to miscarriage.
Tyler and I felt broken. We felt hopeless and wondered if our dreams of becoming parents were ever going to become a reality for us. After a few weeks of going through a little bit of depression, we decided to pick ourselves up and meet with the doctor to discuss further options. With having one embryo left, we knew we didn't want to just jump right into another transfer. We felt we needed to give my body a break, give our mental health a break, save a little bit of money, and potentially do some further testing on me.
Going through IVF is by far one of the hardest things my husband and I have ever been through. It has put a strain on our relationship as a married couple, having to make decisions most married couples don't have to make. It has put a strain on our relationship with friends and family, and it has made me question my faith. IVF is so unfair and constantly makes me wonder, why me? Why us? While we are both very tired from this journey, we are not ready to give up just yet.
- Caitlin Fairres
We are just a couple of high school sweethearts trying our best to live the all-American dream. The only thing getting in our way, is infertility. Follow our journey here.
Medical Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.