Medical Gaslighting in Fertility Care
If you’ve ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling dismissed, ignored, or questioning whether your pain and struggles were even real, you’re not alone.
Medical Gaslighting in Fertility Care
Medical gaslighting—when doctors downplay or dismiss a patient’s symptoms—is a massive issue in healthcare and one that disproportionately affects women, especially those navigating infertility. In fact, ECRI (Emergency Care Research Institute) recently ranked medical gaslighting as the top patient safety concern for 2025 (Fierce Healthcare).
And if you’ve been through infertility, IVF, or pregnancy loss, you already know how common this is. How often do we hear things like:
“Just relax, it’ll happen.”
“You’re overthinking it.”
“Your pain isn’t that bad.”
“You don’t need testing yet.”
“Come back in a year if you’re still not pregnant.”
The reality? These dismissals cost people precious time, cause unnecessary suffering, and in some cases, lead to preventable losses.
When Doctors Don’t Listen, Patients Suffer
For so many of us, infertility is a race against time. But too often, women spend years fighting to be taken seriously before they even get a diagnosis.
I hear from women constantly who:
Were told to "just keep trying" for a year before doctors would even consider testing—only to later find out they had PCOS, endometriosis, or other conditions that should have been treated earlier.
Spent years being dismissed by OBGYNs before finally getting referred to a fertility specialist.
Had severe, debilitating period pain brushed off as “normal,” only to find out they had stage 4 endometriosis.
Were told their weight was the issue without any further testing—then later discovered they had undiagnosed thyroid issues or an autoimmune disorder affecting fertility.
Lost pregnancies that might have been prevented if doctors had listened to concerns about clotting disorders or progesterone levels.
This isn’t just frustrating—it’s dangerous. And it’s why advocating for yourself in fertility care isn’t just important, it’s necessary.
Why Is Medical Gaslighting So Common in Fertility Care?
A few reasons:
Women’s pain is routinely downplayed. There’s a long history of doctors minimizing women’s symptoms, especially reproductive health concerns.
Fertility medicine is still wildly under-researched. We are still being told to "wait a year" before testing, despite research showing that early intervention improves outcomes.
Many doctors don’t specialize in infertility. General OBGYNs don’t always have the latest knowledge on fertility-related conditions like PCOS, endometriosis, or recurrent pregnancy loss.
Insurance restrictions mean doctors follow outdated protocols. Many providers won’t do early testing or treatment unless a patient meets certain “criteria,” forcing people to wait longer than they should.
How to Advocate for Yourself in Fertility Care
If you’ve ever left an appointment feeling dismissed, here’s your reminder: You do not have to accept subpar care. You do not have to wait until a doctor decides your pain is “bad enough.” You have the right to push for answers.
Here’s how:
Come to appointments prepared. Write down your symptoms, concerns, and questions ahead of time so you don’t forget anything.
Ask for specific tests. If your doctor refuses, ask them to document why in your medical record.
Get a second opinion. If something feels off, trust yourself and see another specialist.
Bring someone with you. A partner, friend, or family member can back you up and help ensure you’re taken seriously.
Use firm language. Instead of “I think something might be wrong,” say “I need this symptom investigated further.”
Be willing to switch providers. Not every doctor is the right fit. If you’re not being heard, find someone who will listen.
Change Starts With Awareness
While self-advocacy is crucial, patients shouldn’t have to fight this hard for basic care.
We need systemic change, including:
Earlier testing and intervention for fertility issues. Patients should not have to wait an arbitrary amount of time before getting answers.
Better training for doctors on fertility-related conditions. PCOS, endometriosis, and autoimmune disorders should not be so commonly overlooked.
More accountability in patient care. Doctors should not be able to dismiss valid concerns without offering proper medical justification.
Recognition that infertility is a medical condition, not an elective issue. People deserve access to proper care, not just when insurance decides to cover it.
You Deserve to Be Heard
If you’ve ever felt like your concerns were brushed off, here’s what I want you to know:
You are not overreacting. Your pain is real. Your concerns are valid. You deserve answers.
And if your doctor isn’t listening? Find a new one.
Because at the end of the day, you are the best advocate for your body, your fertility, and your future.
💬 Have you experienced medical gaslighting in your fertility journey? Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your story.
Medical Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.
