I Am 1 in 4: Breaking the Silence Around Pregnancy Loss

I am 1 in 4. Part of the 25% who have experienced the heartbreak of miscarriage. I’m also 1 in 100—someone who’s gone through this pain more than once. Three times, to be exact.

I Am 1 in 4: Breaking the Silence Around Pregnancy Loss

I never thought it would happen to me, but then it did…again and again. Each loss hit me like a ton of bricks, leaving me breathless and broken, wondering why my body couldn’t hold onto the babies I wanted so deeply.

I remember feeling like I’d failed, like my body had let me down in the one thing it was supposed to do. I spiraled into a sea of "what ifs"—what if I had eaten differently, rested more, or stressed less? It’s so easy to turn the blame inward, but the truth is, pregnancy loss is rarely something we have control over.

There’s nothing simple about pregnancy loss. Miscarriage is the shattering of dreams, loss of hope, and the death of a future you’ve already started to imagine. It’s grief that comes in waves—some days, it feels like a dull ache; other days, it’s a sharp pain that catches you off guard. It’s feeling numb and then feeling everything, all at once.

For those of us who are part of this 25%, the silence surrounding pregnancy loss can be suffocating. It’s not just the sadness and heartbreak—it’s the isolation. Society has conditioned us to keep this pain to ourselves, to quietly “move on,” to not make others uncomfortable with our grief. We often hear well-meaning but hurtful comments like, “At least you know you can get pregnant,” or “It wasn’t meant to be.” These words don’t ease the pain; they only add to the feeling of being misunderstood and alone.

But here’s what I want to say to you: You are not alone. Miscarriage is far more common than we realize, yet so many suffer in silence, feeling like they’re the only ones who’ve been through it. I’ve been there too, and I’m here to tell you that your pain is valid, your grief is real, and your story matters.

Pregnancy loss is traumatic. It’s not just the loss of a pregnancy; it can shake you to your core, triggering anxiety, depression, and even PTSD. The joy of seeing those two lines on a pregnancy test can quickly turn into fear and uncertainty. After experiencing loss, each new pregnancy can feel like you’re holding your breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I’ve carried babies who made it to my arms, and I’ve carried babies who didn’t. I share my story because I want to break the silence. I want to help normalize the conversation around pregnancy loss. No one should feel shame or be left to suffer in silence.

If you’re part of the 25%, I want you to know it’s okay to grieve, to feel whatever you’re feeling. It’s okay to be angry, to cry, to not be okay. Healing isn’t about “getting over it”—it’s about finding a way to carry this experience with you, honoring your journey and your babies in whatever way feels right for you.

And if you know someone who’s part of the 25%, please reach out. You don’t need to have the perfect words. Sometimes, just saying, “I’m here for you, and I’m sorry for your loss” is enough. Let them talk about their baby if they want to. Acknowledge their grief, no matter how early or late the loss was. Every loss is significant.

Together, we can change the way we talk about pregnancy loss. We can create spaces where it’s okay to share, where we can support each other without judgment, where we can honor all the babies we’ve loved and lost. Let’s break the silence, end the stigma, and make sure no one ever feels alone in their grief.

I am 1 in 4. And if you are too, I’m here, and I see you. Let’s stand together and let our voices be heard, because no one should ever have to go through this alone.

Medical Disclaimer:

The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.