Coping with Pregnancy Loss and Infertility Grief During the Holiday Season
If you’ve suffered a pregnancy loss, the holiday season can be intensely emotional. Preparing yourself to navigate this time can help you cope.
Coping with Pregnancy Loss and Infertility Grief During the Holiday Season
The grief that often accompanies this loss is never an easy burden to bear. However, with the right support, you and your partner can still enjoy a meaningful and beautiful holiday season—albeit slightly different from previous years.
Everyone has a unique experience with this kind of grief, but many couples find themselves undergoing a broad spectrum of emotions—all of which can be challenging to navigate as the holiday season arrives.
With so many family and friends around, you may feel nervous about needing to talk about your loss. It’s also not uncommon to feel physically and emotionally fatigued during this time of year. But it’s important to remember that as it approaches, your peace and safety are your top priorities.
Below, we’ll walk you through some simple ways to cope with pregnancy loss and infertility grief during the holiday season that protect, support, and affirm your experience as tenderly as possible.
Don’t Feel Obligated To Attend Every Social Event
The festive season tends to be a flurry of social commitments and events. But it’s very important to remember that attending is not compulsory. You are absolutely allowed to decline or even opt out closer to the time if you are not feeling up to it.
While it can be a good idea to spend time with the people who you really trust and connect with, don’t do so out of obligation. Allow your instincts to guide you.
If curling up on the couch and watching a comforting movie sounds better than attending a dinner party, give yourself permission to do that. Those who know you will respect and understand your decision.
Embrace A New Hobby Or Project
Being present with your emotions is a healthy part of processing grief. But dwelling on them 24/7 isn’t likely to make you feel better.
While still leaving room for your emotions to come and go in a natural and healthy way, consider embracing a new hobby or project to direct your attention to when you need a wholesome distraction.
It could be a creative project, like a painting, or an event, such as a private dinner party you’d like to host, or even a new hobby, like crocheting. Whichever avenue you choose, pick something that sparks genuine excitement or curiosity in you so that you have something positive and constructive to work on when the emotions get too much. The sense of completion you get after it is completed can also be very satisfying.
Allow Yourself To Experience The Full Range Of Emotions
Grief is different for everyone. It can be hard to know what emotions to anticipate from one, or even one hour, to the next. You may find yourself feeling sad, angry, or anxious one moment and the next, resentful, calm, or confused. Do your best to let those feelings flow.
It’s not uncommon for people, especially women, to experience guilt after pregnancy loss. This is due to a number of reasons, and it’s a very natural response. But remember to give yourself permission to be happy and embrace celebration if and when those lighter feelings do arise. They are so important for your mental health, and what you are experiencing is nobody’s fault.
Lean On Your Loved Ones For Support
The relief and comfort that a person can feel after talking to someone they trust about what they’re going through should not be underestimated.
You may feel the desire to withdraw a little and spend less time around people, and if that’s the case, it’s fine, but meeting with loved ones in a relaxed environment for some heart-to-heart can be the tonic you need to cope through the season.
Be Gentle With Yourself And Practice Self-Compassion
Having intense emotions when coping with pregnancy loss is very common—and without a supportive internal dialogue, they can become a lot more challenging and painful to manage.
Being gentle with yourself during this time and practicing self-compassion can help strengthen you emotionally and help you resist emotional spirals if they do arise. Above all, give yourself the time and space you need to process these feelings in a way that is right for you.
Plan A Special Treat To Look Forward To
Another way to practice self-compassion is to plan something special you can look forward to. This can be a great way to distract yourself from difficult thoughts or emotions.
The best part about planning a treat for yourself is that you have total control over it. It doesn’t need to be holiday-themed at all. Gift yourself a flower subscription to receive regular bouquets, book yourself spa days to help you relax, or plan dinners, lunches, or other outings with your partner, friends, and family that you’ll enjoy.
Allow yourself to reframe your thoughts about the holiday season and create memories that resonate with your personal situation. Be as frivolous and self-loving as you like. This isn’t an easy path to walk, and you deserve to do something that makes you feel good.
Put Yourself First Throughout the Holiday Season
There is no one-size-fits-all path for coping with grief.
Everyone’s journey of loss is unique, but cultivating some tools and processes for dealing with these difficult emotions can be an effective way to manage them through the holiday season and give yourself the time and space you need to feel safe.
As we head into the holidays, the most important thing to remember is that you are not alone. You’re also allowed to say “no” to events, situations, and even conversations that make you uncomfortable. Put yourself and your mental health first, and lean on those you love. Even if they don't always know what to say, they can offer support that can sustain you during this time of year.
In the wake of a loss or infertility grief, it’s completely normal to feel anxious about the upcoming season. Hold yourself and your partner tenderly as you work through this chapter, and if possible, indulge in a special treat to lift your spirits and remind you of the beauty of life—we promise it is there.
Tracy Renning is a versatile writer who contributes to a variety of online publications, covering topics that span from lifestyle and personal finance to everyday tips for navigating modern life.
Medical Disclaimer:
The information provided in this blog is intended for general informational purposes only and should not be considered as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider or qualified medical professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog.