Justine’s Story

I never dreamt that after finally becoming pregnant after 8 rounds of various fertility treatments (including 2 rounds of IVF) that we would suffer a miscarriage at 11 weeks.

The road of infertility and loss is one filled with confusion, isolation and heartbreak. You feel utterly alone and, at times, overlooked by God. {September 2017} I knew instantly at our appointment that something was wrong. When the doctor showed me the ultrasound of our baby and where the blood flow was not reaching him/her like it should, my breath caught in my chest and I couldn’t speak. I can’t remember what all he said because I was sobbing so loudly and just repeating over and over to my husband ‘why is this happening?’ The nurse ushered us out the back door so I didn’t have to pass by all the people in the waiting room.

I found out I lost our baby on a Friday and was scheduled for a D&C three days after.

For those three days, I carried our baby inside me and kept thinking how there was life inside me except there wasn’t. I never thought that God would bring us through so much to have it all end this way. All weekend I expected a miracle- somehow for the baby to come back to life but when Monday came, my miracle didn’t.

Miscarriages and infant loss are heartbreaking, soul-crushing losses.

You are a member of a club that you never wanted to be a part of and certainly never want anyone else to join. If you have a friend who has lost a baby, pray for them, hug them, show up for them in those moments when they can’t piece together what makes sense. Don’t tell them it was part of God’s plan – I believe our God never wants his children to hurt so deeply. Don’t tell them that it’s a good thing it happened so early on, before things got too far into the pregnancy. These are our children and we love them from the second they begin this earthly life inside our bodies. Being a parent is a gift and a treasure and whether we meet our babies in this life or the next, they are ours just the same. So pray for these hurting families, love them like Jesus loves us and carry their burdens when they are too weary. {Matthew 5:16}

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It’s been a few months since we began our adoption process and home-study.

It’s been a whirlwind of paperwork, meetings, appointments, and prayers. I have always been a planner so learning to really press into living in this unknown space has been challenging for me, but it’s also resulted in a deeper dependence on God. We are stepping entirely into a journey that is not yet ours and may not ever be. It is our only job to do what God has called us to do in that moment, to love on those he places in our path, knowing that He is always faithful and His plan for our family is perfect. Thank you so much for all your love, prayers and support- we are so grateful.

-Justine Hundley