“I always knew one thing for sure – I wanted to be a mum. 2014 I stayed pregnant and was so excited … couldn’t believe it was finally happening!! 8 weeks into pregnancy I started having severe headaches and feeling pressure in my lower abdomen. I felt like something wasn’t right. Doctors were trying to convince me that it was normal and that a scan was not necessary, and I wanted to believe them so badly, but 3-4 weeks after this I noticed blood when I went to the toilet.
It was so scary, and I still remember how I felt in that moment.
I went to A&E and they told me that my embryo stopped developing at 7-8 weeks and that I would miscarry shortly. Those were not the words I wanted to hear, and I still remember how sad it felt. That little embryo was holding on for so long and that’s why I was in so much pain.
I decided to have a natural miscarriage, which was horrible… My uterus took about 8 weeks to clear, which isn’t the nicest reminder when you have to go to the toilet and constantly see blood everywhere. It was very scary and I said I would never do it that way again. About 6 months after this, I got pregnant again – this time I miscarried at 7 weeks which was earlier and luckily easier – quick and not many complications. Soon after all of this, I got pregnant again but miscarried at 5 weeks.
After several miscarriages, they decided to do some testing for both my husband and I. First round of primarily tests were all good, nothing seemed wrong. I went on to have two 3D scans and two hysteroscopies, and still nothing was found.
After all of this, we had no answers and were labelled with unexplained infertility.
The only option we had at this point was IVF or trying naturally. I wasn’t sure about IVF as I didn’t understand how it was going to allow my body to finally keep a pregnancy. For me it was easy to get pregnant, but impossible to carry it through. I felt like IVF was to invasive for me, but it was the only option in the UK under NHS .
After a year of not getting pregnant, I decided to go through with IVF. I had one fresh cycle and one frozen cycle. The second one was horrific for me, as I was on very high doses of all the medications and it all hit me very hard. I also had one really bad allergic reaction that required medical intervention.
Both cycles I got pregnant, but only a few days later each pregnancy was gone.
After all of this, I decided that IVF was not for me. I had too many doubts about it all to begin with and I didn’t feel comfortable doing it again. It was a hard decision for both of us, but I knew how I felt about it and I made peace with myself that we would try naturally and if it happens it would be great, but if it didn’t, I would also be OK.
Of course we are looking for other options in the future such as surrogacy or adoption, but I just want to take some time to enjoy life like I used to. So far what we’re doing works and I’m happy. My husband And I are enjoying things like we did before and it just feels right.
It was all hard to process and go through but it brought me other things and I appreciate life, health, and happiness in many more ways now.” – Natasa